Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Overwhelmed

One of the things I still struggle with is having a heightened anxiety level. It doesn't take much to get me worked up. Anyhow, I'm really struggling right now. It's really nothing PTSD related - it is work related. My company is undergoing a merger / buy out. Since I am a shareholder, that means a lot of financial decisions to make in a very short period of time without enough information to make good decisions.

To top it off, no one really knows anything about the company that's buying us out. They're very large, almost 9000 employees. It's going to be weird to be just a number instead of the CEO knowing my name. In my current position, I'm 3 steps away from the CEO. Now, I'm probably 10 steps away from the CEO. I don't know if I'll be asked to move or to travel. I don't know if my duties will remain the same or change.

I also just found out that I may be invited to participate in new company's employee stock plan. They're inviting 40 employees to join, and I was invited to the preliminary meeting. I thought initial stock offerings would be in the $25,000 - $50,000 range, but they're looking at $120,000 to $250,000 range. I don't have THAT kind of cash sitting around. They're supposed to make offers by the end of the month, and I only have until June 30th to decide. At that time, I will have worked for this company for only 45 days. Do I really want to jump into bed with them?

Anyhow, all of this uncertainty has me on edge. I just want to crawl into bed, and hide under the covers. That won't be happening anytime soon, but it sure sounds appealing.